


Beautiful Disaster

by jazzyo3



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Drinking, M/M, Pills, Prompt Fic, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-21
Updated: 2013-05-21
Packaged: 2017-12-21 17:27:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/902934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzyo3/pseuds/jazzyo3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray’s there for Gavin when things start to get out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> "Do you do songfics? I'd love a songfic of Kelly Clarkson's 'Beautiful Disaster'. or at least a fanfic based on the lyrics."
> 
> Thank you for the request, anon! I wrote this based on the lyrics, and I hope I followed the idea pretty well. I finally found some time to write so I’m glad I got this prompt done. I hope you guys like it! :)

They were slow at first, but became more and more frequent, and nowadays they were daily. They sure took their toll on Ray. He couldn't stand seeing Gavin treat himself this way, and at times, he even treated Ray the same. Gavin had been staying at Ray's apartment ever since he lied to Geoff about finding his own place. No one knew that Gavin was living with Ray, but Ray kept his mouth shut. The only thing he wanted to do was help Gavin, because he needed it more than ever.

A typical day would be just like anyone would think -- they would go to work with the rest of the Achievement Hunter crew, maybe go out to dinner afterwards, and then go home. That wasn't all there was to it, though. Since their friends in the office were so used to picking on Gavin and making him the goofy idiot of the group, they never really thought about their behavior anymore. Every now and then when Michael would really lay into him, he might apologize after a recording, receive an assuring smile from Gavin and continue on his way. What none of them realized was that Gavin internalized each and every joke, each and every tease, each and every insult. Only Ray knew.

It started when Gavin pulled him aside one day on his way out the door. He told Ray that the things their friends said were really hurtful to him and he was starting to really feel bad about it. He told him that he didn't know who to go to, so he picked Ray. Ray took him by arm and told him that everything would be okay. He promised Gavin that he would be there for him through thick and thin, and that if he ever needed anything, he was only a phone call away.

He never thought that the phone calls would turn into late night visits, and that the visits would turn into overnight stays. He never thought that Gavin would be making a home on his couch. But most of all, he never thought that he'd be falling in love with Gavin, one heartbreak at a time.

It wasn't routine to begin with. Someone in the office would call Gavin an idiot, or say he fucked something up, and Gavin would instinctively go to Ray for help. Over time, the remarks started wearing him out, and he was spending more and more time at Ray's apartment. He never cried until one day when Geoff said that he was disappointed in him for finishing a video late, and that night he was on Ray's living room floor, hugging his knees and choking out heavy sobs while Ray wrapped his arms around him in an attempt to muffle the pain.

When Gavin informed Ray that he'd told Geoff he was moving out, Ray welcomed him with open arms. He was practically living there already, anyway, so he figured there wasn't much to lose. By this point, Ray had refined the skill of telling Gavin's moods. When something would trigger him in the office, he could pinpoint the exact moment it happened, and he would always offer a supportive glance in Gavin's direction. It's not like it made any difference, though, because he would almost always spend the night crying into Ray's shirt.

Then Gavin started bringing home alcohol. Ray didn't drink, so he was confused when he noticed that bottles were appearing in the cabinet. He figured that Gavin was just storing them for a few drinks every now and then so he just brushed it off. One night, when Ray returned home from meeting an old friend that was in town, he found that Gavin had locked himself in the bathroom. After a few minutes of convincing, Gavin finally let him in, and he was weakly standing with a bottle of liquor in one hand and Ray's prescription bottle of sleep medication in the other. Gavin was so doped out that it took half an hour less than usual to put him to bed that night.

The booze and pills became a problem and Ray found himself being dragged into Gavin's life way faster than he would ever have imagined. With Gavin's dependency on both downers and Ray, he was spiraling out of control. He wasn't himself anymore. He pretended to be fine at work, but even then he wasn't nearly as lively as he had been before, and he even encouraged the antagonizing jokes being thrown his way. His new lifestyle was one of depression and self-loathing.

Now every night at Ray's apartment was a shouting match alongside some sobbing and a struggle to get Gavin to sleep. When he would finally lay down, he would slip into sleep almost instantly, and Ray would kneel down and grab his hand. He'd squeeze it and hold it to his forehead, just hoping, praying to anyone that would listen, that Gavin would get better. He only seemed to get worse every day, though. Ray didn't know if he could keep up hoping enough for the both of them. Sometimes Gavin would yell terrible things at Ray, but Ray ignored them. He knew that wasn't him. He knew that wasn't his best friend, and he refused to let that side take over Gavin. Gavin would even try to hurt him every now and then, but it was easy to get out of his grasp, even if it hurt for the few seconds that he was able to get to him. He didn't care. Ray would put up with anything in the whole fucking world just to see this boy get better.

This night was different. Gavin was already out of it by the time Ray came home, and when Ray walked through the door, he went up to him to grab his shoulder. Ray tried to squirm out of his grasp, but his grip was too tight. Then he started pushing Ray around the living room. This might have been normal, but he wasn't shouting -- he wasn't saying a word. Ray was confused and he kept trying to get away from him, but it wasn't working.

"Gavin! What the hell are you doing?!" Gavin pushed him again, but this time it was a shove, and he hit the couch.

"Gavin, fucking listen to me! What is wrong--"

Gavin jumped on top of him and straddled his waist against the cushions. He stared down at Ray with an expression that Ray had never seen before. It was almost... hungry. Gavin let some of his pressure off of Ray and sat upright. This would have been an easy time for Ray to twist his way out from him and leave the couch, but something stopped him. He didn't really want to leave. He wanted to stay there, and look up at Gavin's face, and be intimidated.

Then Gavin leaned down and whispered into Ray's ear. "If you want to leave, just say so."

Ray couldn't tell if he meant leave the couch, leave the room, or leave him altogether. It didn't matter, though. He wanted to be there. He slowly shook his head and Gavin must have felt it, because he sat back up and pressed more of his weight against Ray. Then a smirk crept across his face and he placed a hand on Ray's chest.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting to do this."

The words slowly processed in Ray's mind and just stuck there. He didn't know what to think, or what to feel, or what to say. He just laid there, and continued to look up at Gavin's eyes that were unusually awake tonight.

Gavin gripped Ray's shirt with his hand and he scrunched the fabric into his fist. With his other hand, he traced small circles on the section of Ray's stomach that was exposed. He licked his lips and didn't fail to keep eye contact with Ray.

Ray's heart started to beat faster, but he couldn't do it. It didn't matter if Gavin wanted this. It didn't matter if _he_ wanted it -- Gavin wasn't himself right now, and if he went through with this, it would just be using him. He slowly placed a hand on the fist that was attached to his shirt, and Gavin paused.

"What's wrong?" Gavin muttered. "I-- I thought..."

Ray knew what he was thinking. "Gavin, you don't have to do this."

Gavin frowned. "Yeah, yeah I do. I do. I owe this to you." His chest expanded slowly with every inhale, and Ray almost admired it. He was used to seeing Gavin's shallow breaths as he passed out on the couch every night while Ray checked to see if he was even still breathing.

"No. You don't." Ray lifted himself to an upright position with his elbows and he lightly pushed Gavin back on the couch. Now they were sitting, facing each other.

Gavin held a concerned expression. "I treat you like shit every day, Ray. I just wanted to make it up to you. You don't deserve me, just some asshole who sleeps on your couch and makes you feel terrible."

Ray put a hand on his shoulder, just like he did the first day Gavin came to him for help. "The only reason I don't deserve you is because you're too good for me. Even with all of this. I don't care how many nights I have to give to you, because I just want to help you, Gav."

Gavin went quiet with that, and Ray stared downward. He didn't know what else to say. He had so much more he wanted to tell him, but he couldn't. He didn't want to risk anything. Gavin probably wouldn't remember it by the morning, anyway.

"Thank you, Ray." Gavin's voice was quiet and he looked weak, but Ray could tell that he was sincere. He gave a small nod of welcome.

"Don't mention it."

Ray lifted himself off the couch and Gavin's eyes followed him. He picked up the blankets that Gavin had pushed to the floor a few nights ago and handed them to him. Gavin took them and started pulling them over his body while Ray set a pillow behind him. He laid down and Ray went to the other room to get a cup of water for him.

He pretended to be asleep as Ray set down the water on the coffee table next to him. Then Ray took his hand and squeezed it. He held it for a few more seconds, and then placed a light kiss against Gavin's forehead.

Gavin could hear him pad off to his room, and the door closed a few seconds later.


End file.
